Lost and Found...

Things have been stressed here, things outside of our relationship are causing issues.  i had a huge meltdown a couple weeks ago, because of these issues.  JB and i have had very little time together…and things get out of hand on the emotional level.  The meltdown started before a trip i took out-of-state, JB came by to see me the day before i left…we sat for a few minutes and just talked…while i knelt at His feet…He stroked my hair while my head was in His lap.  It was calming, but certainly not what i needed…i had hoped that it would be enough to get me through the next few days.  The following day i could feel it starting to bubble up again…the angst, the lost feelings…all of the insecurities that really have no basis but in my own mind.  By the time i was home 2 days later i was in full-blown meltdown, i begged JB to call…the more i begged the more He ignored my pleas to hear His voice.  All this made it far worse than it ever should have been…all i needed was to hear His voice, i wasn’t asking for more than that.

For 4 days i waited and begged for a call, which finally came late afternoon on Tuesday…He wasn’t happy with me, i knew that before He called…i was so lost, my center totally gone…i was on the edge of something i was so not in control of.  We talked briefly and He promised to call me the next day.  i felt a little better, but far from where i should feel.

A week and a half later He finally came to see me…last Thursday.  He sat on the futon and i climbed onto His lap, we kissed and He held me for a while, then He laid beside me on the futon…just still and quiet.  He stroked my hair and wound His hand in my curls…He pushed my head toward His thigh and just held me there…pulling tighter on the handful of hair…until i calmed, the tears started to fall of their own accord.  i didn’t try to stop them and He let me have my moment.  He released my hair for a short moment while He pulled His belt from the loops…He wrapped it around my neck and held it snuggly and wound His hand back up in my hair.  We stayed this was for a while, just laying together.

My tears finally stopped and He pulled my face to His cock, through His jeans i could feel how hard He was.  He pulled me up and tugged at His zipper…and pushed me toward His partially open jeans.  i finished unzipping His pants and freed Him from His jeans.  As quickly as possible, i had Him in my mouth, until that very moment i hadn’t realized how much i had missed sucking His cock.  He pulled me off and got up, He stripped off His clothing and i followed suit.  He placed a towel on the mattress and laid down, telling me to get on and ride Him.  A few minutes later He rolled me off and told me to kneel on the edge, face to the mattress.  He used His belt on my ass.  He tossed the bullet vibe onto the mattress in front of me, telling me to hold it on my clit, then He caned me, slow at first then building…telling me i had to ask for the next.  He didn’t hit me until i asked for it… “please hurt me” i said over and over, until He was satisfied with the welts raised on my ass.  He continued with a flogger, hitting me harder and harder until i had enough.  He asked as He always does ”will you take a few for Me?”  i always say yes.  He chose the long wooden paddle to deliver His spanking.  Six in total, hard and stingy.  When He was done He hung the paddle back on the wall and spanked me hard with His open hand…i don’t know exactly how many times, all i know is that it hurt.   i thanked Him when He was finished and moved to the side of the mattress so He could lay back down.

He pulled me on top of Him and He slid inside.  He told me i wold have to get off as soon as He told me too, that He was going to cum on my face.  When i rolled off, He came, but not on my face, i don’t know why He changed His mind, but it doesn’t really matter.

When we, were done, i felt i was back to were i belonged, back to that place of peace…i am still struggling emotionally, but we are good.  i think once His surgery is done, i will relax a little bit and so will He.  My ass was welted and black and blue, i wasn’t able to sit properly for two days…

~ by lc on April 17, 2012.