About me…

i am finding and learning to live with my inner self. The one i hid away for so many years…out of fear, out of rejection…because i was raised to hide it away…to be strong and independent.

Being to one in control of everything…the house, the kids…my marriage. The one who had to always be sure everything went the right way…not having someone there to help with the parenting or the running of the household. It has stressed me so much that all i thought about for so long, was running away…from it all.

i have tried to explain it all to my husband…that i want him to lead, that i need him to lead. That i need him to be the one in control…that i can’t do it any longer. i have told him how unhappy i am, with everything. But, he wants everything to be as it is…if he wanted a submissive wife, he would have married the woman his parents chose for him.

i have been unfulfilled in my present life…i have looked outside my marriage for what i need. He showed me what lives deep inside myself, now that she is out…i don’t want her to go back into the shadows.

i struggle everyday…with trying to be true to myself. It is stressful at times and i crave to be kneeling there in front of Him…looking into His eyes. When i am with Him, i feel wanted, cherished and cared for.